As all the cliched sayings go, it’s going by so fast.
But at the same time, oh so slow. Every minute is a struggle. And I mean, a struggle. I spend each day trying to make it to naptime. Then when they’re sleeping, I sneak peeks into their quiet rooms, wishing they were awake so I could squeeze them tight. I never knew parenthood would be filled with so many paradoxes and extremes. But that’s my life right now in a nutshell.
I went on an overnight getaway with a fellow mommy friend. We spent the whole week texting each other about how excited we were to get a full night’s sleep uninterrupted. Our goal was to eat at restaurants where we normally wouldn’t take our kids. We waited in long lines and took our time eating (without having to share with our kids!). At one point, we were walking through a neighborhood and exclaimed how we could hear birds chirping! If that’s not a glimpse into the craziness of motherhood, I don’t know what is. I spend so much time wrangling my toddler in, soothing the toddler and the baby, grabbing snacks out of my bag, and on and on. I’m always doing something.
But at the end of the day, I love it. Of course. Ari exclaiming “mama!” when Russ facetimed me while I was away was everything. I love these kids so darn much.
Anyways, I can keep talking about my kids. I can also show you a million pictures. But that’s not what this post is about. This post is about how I feel like I’m always doing. And as a mom, as a wife, I am. It wasn’t until my little getaway this weekend, at all the silences I enjoyed, I realized how happily full my life is. I know it’s only a season and while it’s hard now, I will happily fill my silences with baby laughter and toddler shrieks. But since my life is full of children business right now, it means slowing down in other things.
I told Russell I wasn’t enjoying my Etsy shop as much anymore. All the orders kept taking my time away from my kids, and if not from my kids, then it took time away from resting. I stopped enjoying sewing and started dreading it. I also missed making myself fun things – like dresses and skirts and fun little bags. So I’m deciding to stop selling stuff on Etsy. This is not a big deal to some people but it is to me. Over the past year, I was surprised to see my sales increase drastically and actually make enough income from it to save and send Ari to preschool this Fall. But I’ve also realized that the things I make/sell are so labor and time intensive. And for the amount I sell them for, I’m basically working for below minimum wage while also neglecting time with my kids. So really the payoff is not worth it. At least not right now. I hope to get back into it once I have more time (whenever that is).
But! Now I get to sew things for myself again! I have so many dress and skirt patterns I’m itching to get back to. I hope to share some of my makes here as I slowly get back into it.
Wow, this post is all over the place.
One more random, Russ and I celebrated 6 years this past April! Even though the kids were sick and I had the stomach bug, every anniversary with Russ is the best kind.