Hello there. I had this post drafted and saved on here for awhile but never published it. I deleted all of it except for this ultrasound picture because all of it was bitter while trying not to be bitter, ha. I’ve written a new post in retrospect of the past few months and I feel like it reflects more of what I feel currently, accurately.
Surprise! Baby boy Henry #3! Due in two days (5/10/20) with no indication that he’s coming out soon. He might be a late one like Ari.
I write this in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic and quarantine. To say it’s been a hard couple months does not even encompass it. I hate complaining except to my husband (love you Russ!) and in my journal. But here it goes as quick as I can: it’s been hard. Being home with TWO kids aged three and one, while pregnant, without any preschool breaks or help from family takes it out of you. Add in Russell getting some hours cut from his work, thinking about the third kid, and feeling the smallness of our two-bedroom condo…I wish I sounded more thankful. But I’m allowed to have bad days and I had quite a few of those these past couple of months. I yelled at my kids more than I should have. I lost my patience with Russell more than I would have liked. I cried a lot which is one of the few things that helps me get through the heaviness of this quarantine.
The part that sucked a lot was Ari turning three and us having to do a little family party at home. It made me so sad but my gosh – Ari was the most smiley kid that day. I wanted to throw him a celebration with some friends but him celebrating with just us made him happy enough. Russell made him a crown and we baked him a cake and let him put as much sprinkles as he liked and I guess for a three year old, that was magical enough.
I have to include this picture because this is Ari’s personality summed up. He picked this shirt out when he woke up because he wanted something colorful. He oohed and aaahed over the decorations and was so happy about the banner. Also, he’s been wearing that orange watch on his wrist for weeks now because he sees Russell wear a watch all the time and lately, Ari has been wanting to dress just like his dad and to always have his watch on.
And since I talked about Ari, here’s a quick update on Oliver. He’s not quite walking yet. He takes lots of multiple steps here and there. I feel like any day now he’ll get it down and start running. He is currently one and half and still not walking completely independently. It’s looking like we’ll be lugging around two kids (Oliver + the newborn) in these next couple of weeks. Hurray. And Ari won’t potty-train so there’s that. Ah, let me get out of this self-pity hole before I get too comfortable in it. So Oliver. He’s intense and very extreme. When he’s happy, he’s happy. When he’s angry, he is ANGRY and the world is ending. I am not excited to see Oliver as a teenager. Unlike Ari, Oliver likes getting messy and loves to eat everything and anything.
Anyways, let’s get back to the baby talk. This poor kid is already being treated like the third child that he is. I’ve been so busy with the other two boys I forget that I’m pregnant. However, now that we are on the final days countdown, I feel every ache and pain. My hips are so sore and I wish he could come already. I’m aching for the newborn baby smell and for the golden hour and baby bliss after labor. Don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely dreading recovery and the hospital time as well as the two weeks postpartum blues that always seems to come for me after giving birth. But seeing Ari and Oliver excited for their brother’s appearance warms me up.
Our house is about to get even smaller, even louder, even messier, and a whole lot crazier. But what a wonderful time to experience birthing new life amidst all this chaos happening in the world. What a time to be able to be still, feeling a new baby breathe and sleep on your chest while all the mess and noise around fades away. I can’t wait.
