Life

Oh Boy Times Three

Hello there. I had this post drafted and saved on here for awhile but never published it. I deleted all of it except for this ultrasound picture because all of it was bitter while trying not to be bitter, ha. I’ve written a new post in retrospect of the past few months and I feel like it reflects more of what I feel currently, accurately.

Surprise! Baby boy Henry #3! Due in two days (5/10/20) with no indication that he’s coming out soon. He might be a late one like Ari.

I write this in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic and quarantine. To say it’s been a hard couple months does not even encompass it. I hate complaining except to my husband (love you Russ!) and in my journal. But here it goes as quick as I can: it’s been hard. Being home with TWO kids aged three and one, while pregnant, without any preschool breaks or help from family takes it out of you. Add in Russell getting some hours cut from his work, thinking about the third kid, and feeling the smallness of our two-bedroom condo…I wish I sounded more thankful. But I’m allowed to have bad days and I had quite a few of those these past couple of months. I yelled at my kids more than I should have. I lost my patience with Russell more than I would have liked. I cried a lot which is one of the few things that helps me get through the heaviness of this quarantine.

The part that sucked a lot was Ari turning three and us having to do a little family party at home. It made me so sad but my gosh – Ari was the most smiley kid that day. I wanted to throw him a celebration with some friends but him celebrating with just us made him happy enough. Russell made him a crown and we baked him a cake and let him put as much sprinkles as he liked and I guess for a three year old, that was magical enough.

I have to include this picture because this is Ari’s personality summed up. He picked this shirt out when he woke up because he wanted something colorful. He oohed and aaahed over the decorations and was so happy about the banner. Also, he’s been wearing that orange watch on his wrist for weeks now because he sees Russell wear a watch all the time and lately, Ari has been wanting to dress just like his dad and to always have his watch on.

And since I talked about Ari, here’s a quick update on Oliver. He’s not quite walking yet. He takes lots of multiple steps here and there. I feel like any day now he’ll get it down and start running. He is currently one and half and still not walking completely independently. It’s looking like we’ll be lugging around two kids (Oliver + the newborn) in these next couple of weeks. Hurray. And Ari won’t potty-train so there’s that. Ah, let me get out of this self-pity hole before I get too comfortable in it. So Oliver. He’s intense and very extreme. When he’s happy, he’s happy. When he’s angry, he is ANGRY and the world is ending. I am not excited to see Oliver as a teenager. Unlike Ari, Oliver likes getting messy and loves to eat everything and anything.

Anyways, let’s get back to the baby talk. This poor kid is already being treated like the third child that he is. I’ve been so busy with the other two boys I forget that I’m pregnant. However, now that we are on the final days countdown, I feel every ache and pain. My hips are so sore and I wish he could come already. I’m aching for the newborn baby smell and for the golden hour and baby bliss after labor. Don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely dreading recovery and the hospital time as well as the two weeks postpartum blues that always seems to come for me after giving birth. But seeing Ari and Oliver excited for their brother’s appearance warms me up.

Our house is about to get even smaller, even louder, even messier, and a whole lot crazier. But what a wonderful time to experience birthing new life amidst all this chaos happening in the world. What a time to be able to be still, feeling a new baby breathe and sleep on your chest while all the mess and noise around fades away. I can’t wait.

Memorial Day Weekend Pics & Memories

Memorial weekend has come and past but I wanted to do this quick post because I got some cute pics of the family.

On Saturday, we went to San Diego Zoo. Ari loves pandas and we were hoping he would be able to see some real live ones but sadly, they are not there anymore and are back in China.

However, he loved the flamingoes and the one dog that was chilling with the baby cheetah.

Sunday rained and rained so no pictures from that day. On Memorial Day Monday, we went to my parents, house, borrowed a couple bikes and a bike attachment where we could put the kids in safely and had a fun family bike ride! One of my favorite memories by far. I don’t have pics of us on the bikes but I took some of when we stopped to let Ari play on the playground and to run down hills.

Loved this weekend. At one point, Oliver fell asleep on the bike ride home and Ari kept saying, “Oliver…Oliver…” So cute to see his older brother instincts come in. He was worried for Oliver as Ollie drifted to sleep that he eventually poked him in the eye, causing Oliver to jerk awake briefly before going back to sleep. Ha, these boys ❤

Slowing Down

As all the cliched sayings go, it’s going by so fast.

But at the same time, oh so slow. Every minute is a struggle. And I mean, a struggle. I spend each day trying to make it to naptime. Then when they’re sleeping, I sneak peeks into their quiet rooms, wishing they were awake so I could squeeze them tight. I never knew parenthood would be filled with so many paradoxes and extremes. But that’s my life right now in a nutshell.

Oliver has started solids! And he LOVES it!

I went on an overnight getaway with a fellow mommy friend. We spent the whole week texting each other about how excited we were to get a full night’s sleep uninterrupted. Our goal was to eat at restaurants where we normally wouldn’t take our kids. We waited in long lines and took our time eating (without having to share with our kids!). At one point, we were walking through a neighborhood and exclaimed how we could hear birds chirping! If that’s not a glimpse into the craziness of motherhood, I don’t know what is. I spend so much time wrangling my toddler in, soothing the toddler and the baby, grabbing snacks out of my bag, and on and on. I’m always doing something.

But at the end of the day, I love it. Of course. Ari exclaiming “mama!” when Russ facetimed me while I was away was everything. I love these kids so darn much.

Anyways, I can keep talking about my kids. I can also show you a million pictures. But that’s not what this post is about. This post is about how I feel like I’m always doing. And as a mom, as a wife, I am. It wasn’t until my little getaway this weekend, at all the silences I enjoyed, I realized how happily full my life is. I know it’s only a season and while it’s hard now, I will happily fill my silences with baby laughter and toddler shrieks. But since my life is full of children business right now, it means slowing down in other things.

I told Russell I wasn’t enjoying my Etsy shop as much anymore. All the orders kept taking my time away from my kids, and if not from my kids, then it took time away from resting. I stopped enjoying sewing and started dreading it. I also missed making myself fun things – like dresses and skirts and fun little bags. So I’m deciding to stop selling stuff on Etsy. This is not a big deal to some people but it is to me. Over the past year, I was surprised to see my sales increase drastically and actually make enough income from it to save and send Ari to preschool this Fall. But I’ve also realized that the things I make/sell are so labor and time intensive. And for the amount I sell them for, I’m basically working for below minimum wage while also neglecting time with my kids. So really the payoff is not worth it. At least not right now. I hope to get back into it once I have more time (whenever that is).

But! Now I get to sew things for myself again! I have so many dress and skirt patterns I’m itching to get back to. I hope to share some of my makes here as I slowly get back into it.

Wow, this post is all over the place.

One more random, Russ and I celebrated 6 years this past April! Even though the kids were sick and I had the stomach bug, every anniversary with Russ is the best kind.

Today

As I slowly get back into the rhythm of blogging, I’ll post little snippets of my day here and there. Here’s a little bit about my day today.

Yessss, I’m playing with text on pictures instead of text out here like a proper blogger. 😌 Hopefully it comes out readable!